Links &
Humor
Links,
Trivia, Humor & Definitions
Links
(Updated)
Definitions
Trivia
JAG
Humor & Conjecture
E-Mail
Edicate and Emoticons
Back
to Main XKE Tech Tips Page

Links
Site |
Description |
Catz
Automotive |
A Concours and Driver restoration
company out of Ohio. |
Classic
Car Security Site |
An informative site about the
security of a classic car written by a security professional, John
Kennish, CPP. |
Classic
Jaguar |
A Concours and Performance
restoration service and parts company out of Texas. |
E-Site,
The |
A very nice personal site by
Stephan Perthes. . |
Insites
On-line |
A classic Jaguar Business
Directory. A comprehensive parts and service supplier directory
for Jaguar owners. |
Jag
Connection |
Specializing in E-Type and XK
original and NOS parts and cars.
Owner run and managed.
Good stock and knowledgeable sales. |
Jaguar
Brochures |
Tony Bailey's extensive compilation
of Jaguar Brochure scans. |
Jaguar
Enthusiasts Club |
The world's largest club with over
16,000 members. Has a quarterly magazine. Unless you are a member, not
a lot of info on the web-site. |
Jag-Lovers
|
Chat Digests, Tech Support, Photos,
and Lumps. Great source of information.
You are currently on the e-type section of this site.
|
JagWeb
|
A great site for Services &
Parts. |
Jaguar
World |
World-wide Jaguar Magazine.
|
Jerry's
Jag Site |
A nice personal site.
|
J.Q.'s
Jaguar Site |
Another well done personal site
with shots of a nicely done '65 E-Type coupe with a Ford 302
powerplant. |
John
Harwood's Jaguar Site |
A personal site showing John's
Series II Coupe called "Jenny". |
Motorcars
Ltd. |
A source for Jaguar and Landrover
parts out of Houston Texas. |
Official
Jaguar Web-Site |
The official web-site of Jaguar
Cars. Rich with information. |
South
Florida Jaguar Club Site |
The
South Florida Jaguar Club, affiliated with Jaguar Clubs of North
America, has close to 200 members in the Palm Beach, Ft Lauderdale and
Miami area. |
Terry's
Jag |
A highly recommended site for
parts. |
The
International Jaguar E-Type Register |
A part of the Jaguar Drivers' Club
Ltd., the original club for people who own and are interested in
Jaguars. They specialize in E-types and run an active membership in
the UK. |
The
Link Exchange Counter |
A free Counter for your Website.
Very easy to use. |
The
Universal Currency Converter |
An on-line currency converter.
|
Vicarage
|
A International restoration company
for Jags based out of Florida in the USA. |
XKE-Lovers
|
An excellent enthusiasts' site run
by a friend and huge supporter of the effort, George Cohn.
|
Definitions
The British
have/had a different way of describing the same thing as us "Yanks".
The help you through this process, here are some of the definitions of
common abbreviations and descriptions.
British |
American |
Definition |
Aerial |
Antenna |
Radio Antenna |
Ammeter |
Amperage gauge |
N/A |
Boot |
Trunk |
N/A |
Bootlid |
Trunk door |
The hatch or door covering the
trunk. |
Bonnet |
Hood |
The front hood on an automobile. In
the E-types case, it was almost the whole nose. |
Carburettor |
Carburetor |
N/A |
Colour |
Color |
N/A |
Dashpots |
Carburetor tops |
The top covering of the carburetors
|
Demister |
Defogger |
Defogging fan |
DHC |
Convertible |
Drop Head Coupe. Not a term used
for the E-type but means the same as "OTS". |
Dipper |
High/Low Beams |
N/A |
FHC |
Coupe |
Fixed Head Couple. A hard-top
two-door. The E-type FHC was a two-seater like the roadster but with a
hatch back and permanent top. |
Fuel Filler |
Gas Cap |
N/A |
Fuel Contents Gauge
|
Gas gauge |
N/A |
Gearbox |
Transmission |
N/A |
Hardura |
Hardura |
A cardboard like material used in
the foot-wells of the E-types. |
Header Tank |
Radiator Overflow Tank
|
An overflow tank off of the
Radiator. Pressurized. |
Headlamps |
Headlights |
N/A |
Hood |
Convertible Top |
N/A |
Ignition Switch |
Ignition |
Where you would put your key to
start the car. The button you would then push on the early cars was
called the Starter switch. |
Litre |
Liter |
A measure of engine displacement
using the metric system. Multiply by a thousand to get the cc
equivalent, or by approximately 61 to get the equivalent cubic inches.
|
N/A |
Lumping |
Swapping out an E-type's engine for
a "lump" of Detroit steel. In other words, replacing it's
engine with the something like a Ford or Chevy V-8 or V-6.
|
Moquette |
Moquette |
A fuzzy fabric material used on
early seat backs. |
OTS |
Convertible |
Open Two-Seater. The top folds down
and the windows crank. We generally refer to it as "roadster"
but this term is used by British for cars whose top folds down and
windows can be removed but do not crank. OTS was only used with the
E-Type. OTS is the same as "DHC" with other British cars
except for that the top folds "onto" the car versus the OTS
which folds "in" the car. |
Petrol |
Gas |
N/A |
Propeller Shaft |
Drive Shaft |
N/A |
Revolution counter |
Tachometer |
N/A |
Spinners |
Knock-offs |
The knock-offs on wire wheels
|
Tyres |
Tires |
N/A |
Voltage Stabilizer |
Voltage Regulator |
N/A |
Vynide |
Vynide |
A type of vinyl used on the early
E-Types. |
Windscreen |
Windshield |
N/A |
Wing |
Fender |
N/A |
Trivia
& Jokes
MOVIES WITH E-TYPES
Movie Title |
Description |
52 Pick-up (1986) |
Ann Margaret and Roy Scheider.
Series I XK-E roadster. You see a lot of the car. Car looks like it
gets blown up at the end, but was swapped out for a mock-up in
real-life. |
Austin Powers - International Man
of Mystery (1997) |
Mike Myers. Series I XK-E roadster
painted with a Union Jack (British Flag). It was prepared for the
movie by European Collectibles in Costa Mesa, CA. It was returned to
them after shooting. |
Blues Brothers (1980)
|
Jim Bellushi & Dan Ackeroid.
Cameo appearance with Twiggy and her XK-E |
Bob & Carol & Ted &
Alice (1969) |
Natalie Wood and Robert
Culp.E-Type. |
Brannigan (1975) |
John Wayne. Black XK-E Series I
coupe or 2+2 goes off bridge. |
Casino Royale (1967)
|
Peter Sellers and Ursula Andress.
Series I E-Type roadster looks like fake destruction sceen.
|
Convoy (1978) |
Kris Kristofferson and Ali McGraw.
Actress is driving a Series III XK-E roadster when they meet.
|
Father's Day (1997)
|
Billy Crystal and Robin Williams.
Series I XK-E roadster in red. Nothing happens to car and is only in
for last few minutes of movie. |
Fun with Dick and Jane (1977)
|
George Segal. Series II E-Type
roadster |
Glass Bottom Boat (1966)
|
Doris Day and Rod Taylor. Series I
E-Type gets in fake crash |
Gumball Rally (1976)
|
Michael Sarrazin, Steven Keats and
a host of other. An all-out fun race across America. Red XK-E refuses
to start through entire movie. |
Harold and Maude (1972)
|
Ruth Gorden and Bud Cort. Black XKE
converted into a hearse goes off cliff. |
How to Steal a Million (1966)
|
Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn.
Canary Yellow Series I XK-E. |
Le Petit Baigneur |
French Movie. Series I Coupe gets
front stretched 3 feet. |
Send me no Flowers (1964)
|
Rock Hudson, Doris Day, Clint
Walker. Cameo where Clint gets out of XK-E Roadster SI. (Not verified)
|
She's out of control (1989)
|
Tony Danza. Red Series I XK-E
roadster hit by train. |
Silver Streak (1976)
|
Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. They
steal a red Series II 2+2. |
Terms of Endearment (1983)
|
Jack Nicholson and Shirley
MacLaine. E-Type roadster. |
The Avengers (1998)
|
Uma Thurman and Sean Connery.
Series I FHC in blue. |
The End (1978) |
Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, and Dom
DeLuise. Series I XK-E roadster |
The Italian Job (1969)
|
Michael Cane. Series I XK-E red
roadster and Series I XK-E Couple. Both cars get destroyed at end of
movie in real life by an earth mover. The roadster was reportedly
restored |
The Jerk (1979) |
Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters
. Cameo where an E-type goes sailing over a cliff. |
The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
|
Hugh Grant and Amanda Donohoe. XK-E
unknown. |
The Love Bug (1969)
|
Dean Jones & Michele Lee. Some
E-Types show up in race. |
Vanishing Point (1971)
|
Barry Newman and Cleavon Little.
Grey Series I XK-E roadster. Goes into a stream. |
Viva LasVegas (1964)
|
Elvis Presley and Ann Margaret. Red
and Blue E-Type. |
Wild Weekend (1965)
|
Lenny Davidson and Rick Huxley. 5
white E-types. |
JAG
Humor & Conjecture
LUCUS JOKES
- The
Lucas Light Switch has three positions: Dim, Flicker, and Off or Smoke,
Smolder and Burn.
- Lucas:
Prince of Darkness
- Lucas:
Father of the Intermittent Wiper
- Why
do the Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators!
- Did
you hear the one about the failed British space mission? when the
astronauts saw that all the electronics were by Lucas they ran screaming
off the launch pad.
- I
have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...
- How
to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
- It
is not true that Lucas systems use AC current; it just has a random
frequency that's all.
- It
is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's
law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
- Lucus
QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design
shorting out so he made the wires longer.
- Lucus
is coming out with a Bra for the E-type. Only drawbacks are that it
sags, only comes with spikes, and only comes in an E-cup.
- Recently,
Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new
Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with
electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!
- Alexander
Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light
Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
- Recommended
procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position
of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 time sunwise around your car
chanting "Oh, mighty Prince protect your unworthy servant..."
Caveat Emptor !!!
Nothing beats looking at a car
advertised as "like new" and finding it actually looks like two
wildcats got loose in the interior. Below are a few common phrases in used
car ads and what they really mean.
"Needs nothing" means "I
like it the way it is, but of course I am easily pleased."
"Over $________ spent in past year"
means "I am tired of throwing money down this rat hole, now it can be
your turn."
"Turns heads" means "people
turn away to barf when they see this coming."
"Rare optional ______" means "Original
owner ordered options no one wanted then or now."
"Rare color combination"
means "Original owner had no taste."
"Complete cosmetic restoration"
means "I just invested in a can of simonize and a bottle of Armorall."
"Partial restoration" means "Couldn't
spring for the Armorall."
"Spares included" means "You
can also have the worn out parts I took off of the car."
"Recent complete mechanical
overhaul" means "I just added a name brand ring and seal sealer
(mechanic in a can) to the oil."
"No rust" means "Bondo
does not rust"
"Some rust" means " "Iron
oxide lovers dream."
"Never driven in rain" means "Refuses
to run in damp weather and the wipers don't work."
"Never driven at night" means
"Lights don't work either."
"Drive it home" means "be
sure to bring a cell phone and your AAA membership card when you pick this
one up."
You know you've owned
a Jaguar too long when...........
- The
following came from a local Jaguar Newletter submitted by George Cohn:
You know you've owned a Jaguar too long
when...........
- You
always park downhill.
- The
guy at the parts house is listed as a dependent on your income tax
form.
- You
get in a car and are surprised when all of the instruments work.
- You
tell your wife that you were out until 3AM because the car broke
down........and she believes you.
- The
family is no longer upset in having to share the dinner table with a
bunch of SU parts.
- You
don't trust anyone named Lucas.
- When
your generator dies, you just pull another out of your Lucas pile
of bits.
- You
wash your hands BEFORE working in the engine compartment.
- You'd
rather give the family pit bull a bath than tune your SU
carburetors again.
- You
allow four hours for a trip, 3 for repairs and 1 for driving.
- You
can unstick a jammed starter in the dark, in the rain, in 5 minutes
and don't think it's a big deal.
- There's
no oil on the garage floor so you know the car's completely
empty.
- Your
car makes a funny sound and you immediately know what's wrong, how
much it will cost, and what tools you
will need to repair it.
2+2 =
More Than its Given Credit "Four"
Well, it really was the last straw!
There I was, feasting on the golden words of a leading motoring magazine
recently, in which the "knowledgeable" journalist was saying how
Jag prices were on the up and up so to speak, when those awful,
cutting words, "ugly duckling" came leaping out of the article.
They were of course, as so many have opined before, referring to the light
of my Jaguar life, the inimitable, the unmistakable, the unsurpassed in
its class, ladies and gentlemen I give you, the glorious E-Type 2+2! This
version of the world's BEST sports car, has taken so much stick over the
years that it leaves me wondering why there was a market for this much
maligned piece of Jaguar genius in the first place! The 2+2 was made for
the American market (many thanks from me and my countrymen for keeping the
company alive) and it was a great success. As an Englishman I frowned on
the thing but I hadnt as yet fully experienced the alternatives. I
hadnt yet run the Ragtop Enduro 50,000. When my race was run, I came
to realize and appreciate why the 2+2 was born. I believe it is the only
true sports car, yes Sports Car, that successfully combined practicality,
fun, real performance, and dare I say, dashing good looks. Truly a car for
all seasons, especially Englands seasons of which there are only
three; winter, spring and a slightly less cold and damp period of
transition between the other two. It is as practical today as the day it
first left Coventry, and I keep finding myself mystified by these awful,
unfounded ramblings. So, I thought, perhaps there are other poor misguided
folk out there who, like me, think the 2+2 was, far from being the worst
of the best, was actually close to being equal to the best of the best.
Popular opinion seems settled on the best of all E-Types being the 3.8
series 1s, even though they were too short for anyone taller than an
average 90s 10 year old, drivers got nervous at the mere thought of
applying the brakes, and the gearbox was a noisy, slow two handed affair,
BUT they looked great and went like the proverbial clappers. Looks and
performance which none of its successors was ever able to surpass. Mine is
a series 11/2 2+2 (almost a series 1) so Ill keep my observations to
this somewhat limited E-Type spectrum. Just a straight comparison, series
1(ish) ragtop to 2+2. Not knobs and switches stuff, just a functional car
for car looksee. No point in having the coupe, if youre going to
come inside you might as well do the job right. The E-Type ragtop has the
same benefits and problems as all ragtops, so ragtops in general
then.....over the years Ive thundered up and down Englands
highways and byways in everything from a Morgan V twin with its unique oil
change system (it gradually threw all its oil at the driver and passenger
thus ensuring a constant supply of clean oil, makes you wonder why the
thing didnt last forever) to an MGB, Alvis Speed 20 (with windshield
folded flat for effect, real men only need flying helmets and goggles
anyway), Messerschmit KR200 (now theres a thing of power for you)
Daimler SP250 Dart, MG TF1500 (nice car but very pedestrian), various
motorcycles (BSA/Norton/Triumph, front and back) to my ultimate
experience, a racing Bugatti (5 minutes in this car made you realize that
Bugatti had summoned up all the dogs of war and locked them away under the
beautiful long blue bonnet. Surely nothing else could scream that way). So
I think Ive had a pretty good taste of ragtop motoring and Ive
come away saying that it was all good fun, BUT, when it comes to real,
everyday, practical motoring (and this is where Im coming from),
none, and I mean none, of these can hold a candle to the 4.2 E-Type 2+2.
This car has it all: power, torque, space, head turning looks, easier
maintenance, better aerodynamics, essentially the same running gear (lets
graciously forget the slush box) and one thing the ragtop definitely doesnt
have, THE best bang for the buck of ANY of the E-Types. Mine has been
converted to the 3.07:1 axle (thanks Terry) which gives it much longer
legs, has triple 45 DCOE Webers, full flow exhaust and high performance
electronic ignition. All very legit for the period (except perhaps
the EI), and probably up to snuff with the 3.8 roadsters?? Now I know, if
youre a dyed in the wool, top down, hair in the wind, real sports
cars dont have roofs anyway kind of person, then its a no
contest. But if youve already run the Ragtop Enduro 50,000, when youve
had enough wind burn, sunburn, frostbite, rain coming at you like steel
rods, dust, eaten enough bug lunches, turned up at "dos"
looking like something the cat dragged in with your face wearing the
signature of natures little elemental love pats, and no space for the
kids, or anything else thats really useful for that matter (apart
from a spare wheel and necessary tools). When youve had your fun in
the sun, and want to put $30k back in your pocket for that next
restoration project, come inside to Space, Grace, and with a few mods,
more than enough Pace. A couple of years ago I decided to get my 2+2 and
even though Ive spent much moolah on it, I havent been
disappointed one bit. It goes like a rocket, people have stopped and
commented about the beautiful Jag and Ive even had spectators
at Road Atlanta ask if they could have their pictures taken with the car.
So maybe Im not alone, maybe Im not crazy, maybe the 2+2
really is as special as I think it is. No question, the roadster, gets the
romantic points, but the 2+2 gets ALL the rest, hands down. Now if only I
could fit a sunroof.............
E-Mail
Edicate and Emoticons
Many ask how to compose e-mail and what
the abbreviations mean. These will help you get by in relations to the
Jaguar chat groups and Lists. :p>
Basic Internet
Emoticons
:-) |
Happy. Joke. |
:-O |
Yelling |
;-) |
Wink & Smile. Flirtatious or sarcastic. Tongue & Cheek.
|
I-O |
Yawning or asleep |
:-D |
Smiling |
:-P |
Sticking your tongue out at someone |
:-( |
Sad/Frowning. Dissatisfaction, upset or depressed |
:-> |
Sarcastic. |
:-l |
Indifferent |
>:-> |
Devilish |
Commonly used
Abbreviations in e-mail on the Internet:
(Additional ones
can be found at http://members.aol.com/nigthomas/alphabet.html)
24/7
|
24 hours a
day/7 days a week |
EOD
|
End of
Discussion |
ACK
|
Acknowledged
|
F2F
|
Face To Face
|
ADN
|
Any Day Now
|
FAQ
|
Frequently
Asked Questions |
AFAIAC
|
As Far As I Am
Concerned |
FYI
|
For Your
Information |
AFAIK
|
As Far As I
Know |
GIGO
|
Garbage In
Garbage Out |
AISB
|
As I Said
Before |
HTH
|
Hope This Helps
|
AISE
|
As I Said
Earlier |
IBTD
|
I Beg To Differ
|
AISI
|
As I See It
|
IME
|
In My
Experience |
AKA
|
Also Known As
|
IMHO
|
In My
Humble/Honest Opinion |
ASAP
|
As Soon As
Possible |
ISC
|
I Stand
Corrected |
ASAFP
|
As Soon As
F****ing Possible |
JAM
|
Just A Minute
|
ATB
|
All The Best
|
MYOB
|
Mind Your Own
Business |
ATTN
|
Attention
|
NBD
|
No Big Deal
|
AYT
|
Are You There
|
NBL
|
Not Bloody
Likely |
B4
|
Before
|
NMP
|
Not My Problem
|
B4N
|
Bye For Now
|
PDQ
|
Pretty Damn
Quick |
BBL
|
Be Back Later
|
PO
|
Previous Owner
|
BITD
|
Beaten It To
Death |
TA
|
Thanks A lot
|
BOC
|
But of Course
|
TNX
|
Thanks
|
BTA
|
But Then Again
|
WR
|
With Respect
|
CYL
|
See You Later
|
WYSIWYG
|
What You See Is
What You Get |
DOA
|
Dead On Arrival
|
|
|
DPO
|
Damn Previous
Owner |
|
|
The following tech
tips were compiled from the member's of e-type Digest from jag-lovers.org.
There are no implied guarantees. These suggestions are from other XKE
owners on how they solved similar problems or challenges and may
illustrate varied and occasionally contradictory conclusions to the same
problem. Please forward any questions, comments, criticisms, or
suggestions to mhicks@mathe.com.
Commercial use is strictly prohibited. Ó
Copyright 1998 by Mark Hicks. Legal
Restrictions
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