Why we pray facing East (long post)

[Michael Frank <mfrank@westnet.com>]

    This monday, we were in Coventry, where we had a red-carpet tour of the
Jaguar assembly line. This is my trip report, for those interested. Table of
contents:

        1. How to arrange a tour
        2. Getting to Coventry
        3. Driving on the wrong side of the road.
        4. Why we pray facing East (about the tour)
        5. Observations on the XK8
        6. Other interesting sights in the area
        7. How to keep your spouse happy



1. How to arrange a tour. Tours must be booked well in advance. Jaguar will
not allow drop-ins. In the US, contact:

            Tammy Levinson
            Customer Assistance 
            Jaguar Cars 
            555 MacArthur Blvd.
            Mahwah, NJ 07430 

Tammy will happily schedule your tour. You will be responsible for airline
and hotel booking, Jaguar just coordinates the factory tour. Note that you
will not be allowed to take pictures of the assembly line.

2. Getting to Coventry. Coventry is about 75 miles northwest of London. Your
best bet is to fly into Heathrow.  We spent a couple of days in London
before driving up. There is rail service to Coventry, if you choose public
transport.

3. Driving on the wrong side of the road. Driving in the UK is very
different from the rest of the world. The most obvious difference is that
they drive on the left. If you are used to driving on the right, this may
sound intimidating, but you quickly become used to it. Two things to be
concious of: there is more car on your left than you are used to. I
inevitably run up against the left kerb once on every trip. The second thing
is that night driving can be ultra hazardous. At night, with few visual
queues, you instinctively pull to the right of the oncoming headlights. You
only get one shot at this mistake. I avoid night driving in the UK,
especially when I'm tired.

The other odd thing about British highways is that they have no cloverleafs.
Instead, they use 'roundabouts', what we in the US call traffic circles.
Surprisingly, this is an efficient and safe approach to roadbuilding. With
practice, you can blast thru a roundabout without a second thought. The key
is to focus most of your attention to your right. You yield to traffic on
your right, while traffic on your left yields to you. The British, in
general, are excellent drivers, and you can usually trust your fellow
drivers following this rule. Oh, and remember that you go around the circle
clockwise!

One more tidbit before I forget. Rural British roads are sometimes single
lane (especially in Scotland). Not a single lane in each direction. A single
lane for both directions. This often surprises American drivers. The idea is
to keep your eyes focused far ahead, and be prepared to pull onto the
shoulder to allow oncoming traffic to pass. There are pull-offs spots spaced
regularly along these roads ("thats a passing place, not a parking space,
Yank"). If you arrive at the passing place first, you pull off, stop, and
flash your lights to let oncoming cars know you are safe to pass. Works
better than you would think.

After a week of driving in the UK, you will need to unlearn new habits when
driving in the US. Take it easy until you have readjusted to driving at home.

4. Why we pray facing East. The tour takes place at the famous Brown's Lane
Plant. This is a final assembly facility. Body shells are made elsewhere in
Coventry, Engines in Wales, probably a few other sources for sub-assemblies.

  The Brown's Lane Factory is entered thru a gate which resembles a goliath
XJ6. The central section of the gate is a fully chromed XJ6 grille which is
about ten times life size. It is surmounted by a chrome leaper which is 7 or
8 feet long! The argument is thus settled: the leaper is clearly factory
equipment on the XJ6.

The tour begins in the Jaguar factory showroom. I think you can buy a new
Jag right on the spot, there are several new ones on display, all priced out
and ready to go. After being greeted, we were shown in to the factory
museum. There were only a handful of cars in the place, but what a
selection!. An XJ220, a factory lightweight E, the last E type, the last
XJS, early examples of Daimlers and Lanchesters! Very nice. One thing we
didn't see was the XJ13, and no one seemed to know where it was. If it's
lost, then finders keepers, I say.

On the day we were there, there were actually four tour groups. Three of
them were Jag dealers on a boondoggle. We were 'toured' with a small group
of prospective UK Jag buyers.

We were shown a short film, which was a bit of Jag propaganda/sales pitch.
There was a discussion of factory safety: stay within the yellow lines, wear
protective gear if required, touch nothing, don't bother the workers. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Finally the tour proper begins. The first thing we are shown is the wood
fabricating plant. Here is where wooden dashboards and trim are made. After
receiving samples of veneer, we saw wood trim being laminated, using a
process of pressure and heat. Large presses are used for this. Depending on
the component, the substrate is plywood, aluminum, or plastic.  After a
variety of tortures, the wood comes out as a beautifully shaped dashboard,
picnic tray, or shift console. Then boxwood marquetry is manually inlaid by
true craftsmen and glued in place. The component is sanded on a giant belt
sander, and finished with two coats of polyurethane. This is what mystifies
me. I would use a hand rubbed oil finish, which allowed the natural grain to
show thru. The polyurethane coating makes all that beautiful wood look just
like plastic. Well, no accounting for taste!

Then we proceeded to the body storage and prep area. Fully assembled and
painted body shells, including doors, boot lids and bonnets arrive from
Jaguar's body plant across town. They are shipped in special trucks which
hold seven bodies each. The trucks receive the bodies from the body plant,
and discharge them at Browns Lane using a fully automated technique, under
full computer control. They are then automatically stored in the world's
most beautiful warehouse. Three stories tall, it holds 373 complete Jaguar
bodies awaiting assembly. Oh! If only pictures had been allowed!

As construction begins, the bodies are moved from shelves in the warehouse
to a short assembly line under computer control. The purpose of this line is
to allow the body inspectors to cull out defective panels, or whole bodies
if necessary. Minor defects are removed right on the line using dollies and
pry bars (nice to see a place for hand labour in robot land), and removeable
components such as doors can be replaced on the spot from a handy pile of
spares. I was surprised by how few spares were needed to keep this process
going. Although I didn't check every bin, it seemed like there was one panel
of each type, in each color. 

Any defective part removed along the line is collected for the crusher and
recycled. The line had been running for half a day by the time we arrived,
and I counted only four body panels in the recylcing bin.

The cars are then loaded onto one of the two final assembly lines. There is
one line for the XK8, and another for the 'saloons'. The day we arrived,
only the XK8 line was running. The cars have been in full production for
months, apparently a major success for Jaguar! 

The Jaguar main line is super automated, and very clean. One is struck by
the quiet of the plant and much as anything. You don't have to shout to be
heard. It is a very light, pleasant environment.

On the XJ line, the doors are removed as the body shells start down the
line. The four doors ride mini assembly lines which parellel the bodies they
belong to. We were told that this allows more efficient assembly of the
doors , and reduces defects due to assembly accidents by 25%. Interestingly,
the XK8's are built 'doors on', the old fashioned way. Nobody seemed to have
an explaination.

The bodies are built up one subassembly at a time. Door panel, wiring,
dashboard, seats, etc find thier place in each shell. The convertibles spend
a few minutes in a special oven which smooths wrinkles, and ensures a tight
fit. I should mention that this is a mixed line: convertibles and coupes
move down the line in random order.

On a parallel track, the entire drive train and suspension is built up from
assembled subcomponents. These components are supported on a special jig in
correct relative positions, which allows them to move as a unit down the
line. At one point, the bodies are raised up to a height of about 6 feet,
the stuffings line up beneath, and then engine, transmission, the whole
insides are raised as a unit to meet the bodies. In one glorious moment, the
bodies and underpinnings meet and are bolted up together. Tez works at the
point the drive train is stuffed into the shell. We got to meet him during
the tour, and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity! 

At the end of the line, the car is started and driven off to a series of QA
tests. First they are leak tested by being sprayed with water (this is a
great striaght line, but no jokes about this). Then each car gets a brief
test drive on the 'rolling road'. One car in ten is selected for an extended
35 mile test drive. The cars then get a rigorous inspection, which includes
emmissions testing. Any defects will earn the car another round trip on the
assembly line. 

From time to time, shortage of particular components may cause a car to be
delayed on the line. These cars are culled out and held in storage until the
part arrives. We saw one such, which was awaiting the right color bumper
cover. As mentioned before, there are a minimum of spare parts on the line.
Fork lift trucks are constantly busy bringing parts to the right places
'just in time'.

The final stop on the tour is the gift shop. Here you can buy the stuff in
the 'Jaguar Collection' (see the official Jaguar web site). From time to
time, the shop will also sell one offs made by factory workers. These
include wooden case clocks made in the dashboard shop, and 'Jags in a
Bottle', all at very high prices.  

The entire tour lasts a little over two hours. Makes for an interesting
morning or afternoon!

5. Observations on the XK8. Prior to seeing the factory, I was disappointed
in the XK8. But watching the care and commitment which goes into building
them was impressive. And you can't imagine the visual impact of hundreds of
XK8's moving down the assembly line, doing their paces in the test area, and
just sitting in the yard awaiting shipping. I was also surprised at the
slowness of the line: about 70 cars a day. Gives time  for careful work.
Guess I'm saying that it's worth a test drive, even if I dislike the way the
back looks, and to tell the truth, seeing hundreds of them at once leaves a
very positive picture in your mind.

Some technical tidbits: The XK8 exhaust is verrrrrry complex. There are twin
cats located just below the exhaust manifolds. The output is piped to a
single central muffler. There are two additional mufflers on each side. A
total of seven 'cans'. The central muffler is intriguing. Is this a new
interpretation of the H-Pipe?

The cylinder heads are pent-roof, and have no squish area.  Compression
ratio is 10.5 to 1. The engine uses a timing chain, with automatic
tesioners, rather than a belt. All in all, a very retro design. Interesting.

Tez says these engines are less leak prone than the XJS engines were. One of
my new prize posessions is a factory 'Leak Report'. This is a green ticket
which is used on the floor to report leaks for later correction. Gonna put a
few on my E!

6. Other sights in the area. The British are very in to motor sports, so
there are many auto-related destinations in the
London-to-Southampton-to-Coventry triangle. Aside from other auto plants
(Rover and MG), there are several wonderful museums:

        - Coventry Museum of Road Transport. A museum dedicated to the auto
industry in 
          Coventry. Hundreds of beautiful cars, trucks, and motorcycles are
on display.           Some of the highlights are Barbie's XJS in bright
pink, numerous early           Daimlers, a very nice Series III E-Type, and
some vintage Jaguar race cars.
          There is a large animated exhibit on Coventry's WWII experiences,
includings
          a reenactment of a German airraid complete with simulated smoke,
fire, and 
          explosions. 

       - The Costwolds Motor Museum at Bouton-on-Water. This is one of the
best auto          related museums I have ever seen. The owner, Mike
Cavanaugh, has spent thirty           years amassing a collection which can
only be described as eclectic. There is
         an impressive Booklands Riley, an XK 120, and a BMW 327. But these
are the more
         conventional vehicles. There is a Gypsy caravan, miniature trucks,
an Autsin          Swallow, prewar MG's, Morgan tri-cars the theme being
'small cars'. But that is          only part of the story. There are toys,
toys, toys, toys, toys. Pedal cars,             models, miniatures. There is
automobilia of all sorts: signs, photos, gas          pumps, racing
programs, paintings, tools, parts, and so on. All of this is
arranged in a cleverly haphazard fashion. It is as if you have wandered into
someone's jam-packed attic, with surprises in every corner. The star of the
place is BRUM. Brum is a little yellow pedal car, which was the star of a
children's TV show on the BBC. In each episode, Brum would magically come to
life and leave the museum for an adventure, only to return at night.
     
         I could go on about this place forever. It is a must see. Bouton is
about 20          miles south of Coventry.

      -  Beaulieu. Pronounced 'Bew-leee'. This is the home of Lord Montagu,
the well             known automobilist and Jaguar afficianado. It is the
National Motor Museum. 
         It contains a couple of hundred perfectly restored cars of various
British
         makes. There is a floor devoted to motorcycles. Housed in this
collection are
         several of the Britsh-built, convetionally powered, land speed
record cars.             While everything here is beautiful and perfect,
there is a stuffiness to this
         collection which is not found in the previous two museums. It is
almost like
         a postage stamp album, but with cars.

         On the grounds of Beaulieu is an auto related theme park for the
kids, which            includes a monorail ride. You can tour the house
during certain seasons                 (closed when we were there). There is
also an ancient monastery on the sight,            which has been partially
restored.

         There are car shows and autojumbles on the grounds from time to
time, so check
         the schedule if you go. It is a very family oriented place, and
makes for a 
         good day. Beaulieu is in the neighborhood of Southampton, about 60
miles due
         south of Coventry.

There are an incredible number of stores devoted to auto-related items.
While in London, be sure to visit St Martin's Equipment on St Martins Place.
This is a store totally devoted to auto models. Incredible. Also visit
Hemly's, the worlds largest toy store, which has a whole section devoted to
toy cars. Britain is a great place for bookstores, and there are several
devoted to motor books, including Motorbooks International, a chain, with
branches in London and Swinton.

Non auto related sites are many. 

   - Archaeological. This is an interest of mine. In this corner of England,
you can find Roman ruins, from roads to villas. England was conquered by
Rome in the first century AD, and was under Roman control for four
centuries. Higlights include a magnificent collection in the British Museum,
most of which was plundered from Italy in the 18th century. There are
indigenous Romano-British ruins at Chedworth near Cirencester, along with a
nice museum.  Many of the roads you will be traveling will follow the routes
of Roman hiways. There are well preserved Roman ruins in Bath, a bit farther
west.

    You are also near Stonehenge, roughly 50 miles south of Coventry. It is
the largest, and the most accessible of the henge monuments in Europe. Some
say it was a temple, some say it was an observatory. I have my own theory.
The site is surrounded by many acres of grasslands. IMHO, this site was
closely mowed in ancient times and used for golf. The henge was clearly a
large clubhouse...but what do I know. If you are interested in Stone Age
Britain, try to schedule a separate trip to Mainland, Orkney (long, long way
from Coventry), where you can see many well preserved henges, barrows, and
stone age villages. 

- Antiques. The Cotswold area, south of Coventry and west of London, is well
known as an antiquer's paradise. 

-  Stratford-on-Avon. Home of Shakespeare, with many related sites and a
theater. About 20 miles south of Coventry.

- William Morris's manor home in Kelmscott. William Morris was one of the
founders of the Arts and Crafts movement, for those into architecture and
design. About 30 miles south of Coventry.

- Woolens. Even if you have no interest in knitting, a visit  the the
Cotswold Woolen Weavers in Filkins is worthwhile. Here you can see looms and
spinning machines in action. Buy finished goods (cheap), if you care to.

- The Cotswolds. The area south of Coventry and west of London is a favorite
love nest of the rich and famous. It gives a new definition to the word
quaint. You will find charming country inns, wonderful B&B's, and great
hotels. The Cotswolds are for Lovers is the consensus, so reward your
spouses patience with a nice stay in a romantic place.

- Other stuff. Chruches, vinyards, museums dot the landscape. There is no
end to tourist-type attractions in this area. Be sure to spend some time in
a real English pub, as well.


7. How to keep your spouse happy. So just how do you get to do all this
stuff, and keep your significant other happy. As I mentioned in the
original post, my wife set this trip up as an anniversary gift. It doesn't
get better than that. Some pointers for those confronted with the problem of
brining a Jaguar into your relationship (sorry ladies, male viewpoint):

- Join a good club. Jaguar clubs are generally good at family oriented
events. Tours, parties, and dinners in addition to the standard concours and
competition events.

-  You own a British car, develop British manners. Examples:

     Dont say:   "Get yerass in da ca"
     Do say:     "Mrs. Peel, you are needed"

     Don't:      Leave messy oil spills in the driveway
     Do:         Lay down your coat so she doesn't soil her shoes

     Don't:      Reply to admirers, "Rebuilt it all myself!"
     Do:         Reply to admirers, "Were you referring to the car or my wife?"

- Most important: keep the car running. My wife is more sympathetic to the
rolling Jag than the husband-eating Plymouth.

- Let her pick a few destinations on the trip...A few suggestions above.


Mike Frank 
1969 E-Type 2+2

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