Links & Humor

 Links, Trivia, Humor & Definitions

Links (Updated)

Definitions

Trivia

JAG Humor & Conjecture

E-Mail Edicate and Emoticons

Back to Main XKE Tech Tips Page

 

Links
 
 
 

Site	Description
Catz Automotive	A Concours and Driver restoration company out of Ohio.
Classic Car Security Site	An informative site about the security of a classic car written by a security professional, John Kennish, CPP.
Classic Jaguar	A Concours and Performance restoration service and parts company out of Texas.
E-Site, The	A very nice personal site by Stephan Perthes. .
Insites On-line	A classic Jaguar Business Directory.  A comprehensive parts and service supplier directory for Jaguar owners.
Jag Connection	Specializing in E-Type and XK original and NOS parts and cars.  Owner run and managed.  Good stock and knowledgeable sales.
Jaguar Brochures	Tony Bailey's extensive compilation of Jaguar Brochure scans.
Jaguar Enthusiasts Club	The world's largest club with over 16,000 members. Has a quarterly magazine. Unless you are a member, not a lot of info on the web-site.
Jag-Lovers	Chat Digests, Tech Support, Photos, and Lumps. Great source of information.  You are currently on the e-type section of this site.
JagWeb	A great site for Services & Parts.
Jaguar World	World-wide Jaguar Magazine.
Jerry's Jag Site	A nice personal site.
J.Q.'s Jaguar Site	Another well done personal site with shots of a nicely done '65 E-Type coupe with a Ford 302 powerplant.
John Harwood's Jaguar Site	A personal site showing John's Series II Coupe called "Jenny".
Motorcars Ltd.	A source for Jaguar and Landrover parts out of Houston Texas.
Official Jaguar Web-Site	The official web-site of Jaguar Cars. Rich with information.
South Florida Jaguar Club Site	The South Florida Jaguar Club, affiliated with Jaguar Clubs of North America, has close to 200 members in the Palm Beach, Ft Lauderdale and Miami area.
Terry's Jag	A highly recommended site for parts.
The International Jaguar E-Type Register	A part of the Jaguar Drivers' Club Ltd., the original club for people who own and are interested in Jaguars. They specialize in E-types and run an active membership in the UK.
The Link Exchange Counter	A free Counter for your Website. Very easy to use.
The Universal Currency Converter	An on-line currency converter.
Vicarage	A International restoration company for Jags based out of Florida in the USA.
XKE-Lovers	An excellent enthusiasts' site run by a friend and huge supporter of the effort, George Cohn.

 

Definitions

The British have/had a different way of describing the same thing as us "Yanks". The help you through this process, here are some of the definitions of common abbreviations and descriptions.
 

British	American	Definition
Aerial	Antenna	Radio Antenna
Ammeter	Amperage gauge	N/A
Boot	Trunk	N/A
Bootlid	Trunk door	The hatch or door covering the trunk.
Bonnet	Hood	The front hood on an automobile. In the E-types case, it was almost the whole nose.
Carburettor	Carburetor	N/A
Colour	Color	N/A
Dashpots	Carburetor tops	The top covering of the carburetors
Demister	Defogger	Defogging fan
DHC	Convertible	Drop Head Coupe. Not a term used for the E-type but means the same as "OTS".
Dipper	High/Low Beams	N/A
FHC	Coupe	Fixed Head Couple. A hard-top two-door. The E-type FHC was a two-seater like the roadster but with a hatch back and permanent top.
Fuel Filler	Gas Cap	N/A
Fuel Contents Gauge	Gas gauge	N/A
Gearbox	Transmission	N/A
Hardura	Hardura	A cardboard like material used in the foot-wells of the E-types.
Header Tank	Radiator Overflow Tank	An overflow tank off of the Radiator. Pressurized.
Headlamps	Headlights	N/A
Hood	Convertible Top	N/A
Ignition Switch	Ignition	Where you would put your key to start the car. The button you would then push on the early cars was called the Starter switch.
Litre	Liter	A measure of engine displacement using the metric system. Multiply by a thousand to get the cc equivalent, or by approximately 61 to get the equivalent cubic inches.
N/A	Lumping	Swapping out an E-type's engine for a "lump" of Detroit steel. In other words, replacing it's engine with the something like a Ford or Chevy V-8 or V-6.
Moquette	Moquette	A fuzzy fabric material used on early seat backs.
OTS	Convertible	Open Two-Seater. The top folds down and the windows crank. We generally refer to it as "roadster" but this term is used by British for cars whose top folds down and windows can be removed but do not crank. OTS was only used with the E-Type. OTS is the same as "DHC" with other British cars except for that the top folds "onto" the car versus the OTS which folds "in" the car.
Petrol	Gas	N/A
Propeller Shaft	Drive Shaft	N/A
Revolution counter	Tachometer	N/A
Spinners	Knock-offs	The knock-offs on wire wheels
Tyres	Tires	N/A
Voltage Stabilizer	Voltage Regulator	N/A
Vynide	Vynide	A type of vinyl used on the early E-Types.
Windscreen	Windshield	N/A
Wing	Fender	N/A

 

Trivia & Jokes

MOVIES WITH E-TYPES
 
 
 

Movie Title	Description
52 Pick-up (1986)	Ann Margaret and Roy Scheider. Series I XK-E roadster. You see a lot of the car. Car looks like it gets blown up at the end, but was swapped out for a mock-up in real-life.
Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery (1997)	Mike Myers. Series I XK-E roadster painted with a Union Jack (British Flag). It was prepared for the movie by European Collectibles in Costa Mesa, CA. It was returned to them after shooting.
Blues Brothers (1980)	Jim Bellushi & Dan Ackeroid. Cameo appearance with Twiggy and her XK-E
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969)	Natalie Wood and Robert Culp.E-Type.
Brannigan (1975)	John Wayne. Black XK-E Series I coupe or 2+2 goes off bridge.
Casino Royale (1967)	Peter Sellers and Ursula Andress. Series I E-Type roadster looks like fake destruction sceen.
Convoy (1978)	Kris Kristofferson and Ali McGraw. Actress is driving a Series III XK-E roadster when they meet.
Father's Day (1997)	Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Series I XK-E roadster in red. Nothing happens to car and is only in for last few minutes of movie.
Fun with Dick and Jane (1977)	George Segal. Series II E-Type roadster
Glass Bottom Boat (1966)	Doris Day and Rod Taylor. Series I E-Type gets in fake crash
Gumball Rally (1976)	Michael Sarrazin, Steven Keats and a host of other. An all-out fun race across America. Red XK-E refuses to start through entire movie.
Harold and Maude (1972)	Ruth Gorden and Bud Cort. Black XKE converted into a hearse goes off cliff.
How to Steal a Million (1966)	Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn. Canary Yellow Series I XK-E.
Le Petit Baigneur	French Movie. Series I Coupe gets front stretched 3 feet.
Send me no Flowers (1964)	Rock Hudson, Doris Day, Clint Walker. Cameo where Clint gets out of XK-E Roadster SI. (Not verified)
She's out of control (1989)	Tony Danza. Red Series I XK-E roadster hit by train.
Silver Streak (1976)	Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. They steal a red Series II 2+2.
Terms of Endearment (1983)	Jack Nicholson and Shirley MacLaine. E-Type roadster.
The Avengers (1998)	Uma Thurman and Sean Connery. Series I FHC in blue.
The End (1978)	Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, and Dom DeLuise. Series I XK-E roadster
The Italian Job (1969)	Michael Cane. Series I XK-E red roadster and Series I XK-E Couple. Both cars get destroyed at end of movie in real life by an earth mover. The roadster was reportedly restored
The Jerk (1979)	Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters . Cameo where an E-type goes sailing over a cliff.
The Lair of the White Worm (1988)	Hugh Grant and Amanda Donohoe. XK-E unknown.
The Love Bug (1969)	Dean Jones & Michele Lee. Some E-Types show up in race.
Vanishing Point (1971)	Barry Newman and Cleavon Little. Grey Series I XK-E roadster. Goes into a stream.
Viva LasVegas (1964)	Elvis Presley and Ann Margaret. Red and Blue E-Type.
Wild Weekend (1965)	Lenny Davidson and Rick Huxley. 5 white E-types.

 
 

JAG Humor & Conjecture

LUCUS JOKES

• The Lucas Light Switch has three positions: Dim, Flicker, and Off or Smoke, Smolder and Burn.
• Lucas: Prince of Darkness
• Lucas: Father of the Intermittent Wiper
• Why do the Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators!
• Did you hear the one about the failed British space mission? when the astronauts saw that all the electronics were by Lucas they ran screaming off the launch pad.
• I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...
• How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
• It is not true that Lucas systems use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.
• It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
• Lucus QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.
• Lucus is coming out with a Bra for the E-type. Only drawbacks are that it sags, only comes with spikes, and only comes in an E-cup.
• Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!
• Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
• Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 time sunwise around your car chanting "Oh, mighty Prince protect your unworthy servant..."

Caveat Emptor !!!

Nothing beats looking at a car advertised as "like new" and finding it actually looks like two wildcats got loose in the interior. Below are a few common phrases in used car ads and what they really mean.

"Needs nothing" means "I like it the way it is, but of course I am easily pleased."

"Over $________ spent in past year" means "I am tired of throwing money down this rat hole, now it can be your turn."

"Turns heads" means "people turn away to barf when they see this coming."

"Rare optional ______" means "Original owner ordered options no one wanted then or now."

"Rare color combination" means "Original owner had no taste."

"Complete cosmetic restoration" means "I just invested in a can of simonize and a bottle of Armorall."

"Partial restoration" means "Couldn't spring for the Armorall."

"Spares included" means "You can also have the worn out parts I took off of the car."

"Recent complete mechanical overhaul" means "I just added a name brand ring and seal sealer (mechanic in a can) to the oil."

"No rust" means "Bondo does not rust"

"Some rust" means " "Iron oxide lovers dream."

"Never driven in rain" means "Refuses to run in damp weather and the wipers don't work."

"Never driven at night" means "Lights don't work either."

"Drive it home" means "be sure to bring a cell phone and your AAA membership card when you pick this one up."

 

You know you've owned a Jaguar too long when...........

• The following came from a local Jaguar Newletter submitted by George Cohn:

You know you've owned a Jaguar too long when...........

• You always park downhill.
• The guy at the parts house is listed as a dependent on your income tax form.
• You get in a car and are surprised when all of the instruments work.
• You tell your wife that you were out until 3AM because the car broke down........and she believes you.
• The family is no longer upset in having to share the dinner table with a bunch of SU parts.
• You don't trust anyone named Lucas.
• When your generator dies, you just pull another out of your Lucas pile of bits.
• You wash your hands BEFORE working in the engine compartment.
• You'd rather give the family pit bull a bath than tune your SU carburetors again.
• You allow four hours for a trip, 3 for repairs and 1 for driving.
• You can unstick a jammed starter in the dark, in the rain, in 5 minutes and don't think it's a big deal.
• There's no oil on the garage floor so you know the car's completely empty.
• Your car makes a funny sound and you immediately know what's wrong, how much it will cost, and what tools you will need to repair it.

2+2 = More Than it’s Given Credit "Four"

Well, it really was the last straw! There I was, feasting on the golden words of a leading motoring magazine recently, in which the "knowledgeable" journalist was saying how Jag’ prices were on the up and up so to speak, when those awful, cutting words, "ugly duckling" came leaping out of the article. They were of course, as so many have opined before, referring to the light of my Jaguar life, the inimitable, the unmistakable, the unsurpassed in its class, ladies and gentlemen I give you, the glorious E-Type 2+2! This version of the world's BEST sports car, has taken so much stick over the years that it leaves me wondering why there was a market for this much maligned piece of Jaguar genius in the first place! The 2+2 was made for the American market (many thanks from me and my countrymen for keeping the company alive) and it was a great success. As an Englishman I frowned on the thing but I hadn’t as yet fully experienced the alternatives. I hadn’t yet run the Ragtop Enduro 50,000. When my race was run, I came to realize and appreciate why the 2+2 was born. I believe it is the only true sports car, yes Sports Car, that successfully combined practicality, fun, real performance, and dare I say, dashing good looks. Truly a car for all seasons, especially England’s seasons of which there are only three; winter, spring and a slightly less cold and damp period of transition between the other two. It is as practical today as the day it first left Coventry, and I keep finding myself mystified by these awful, unfounded ramblings. So, I thought, perhaps there are other poor misguided folk out there who, like me, think the 2+2 was, far from being the worst of the best, was actually close to being equal to the best of the best. Popular opinion seems settled on the best of all E-Types being the 3.8 series 1’s, even though they were too short for anyone taller than an average 90’s 10 year old, drivers got nervous at the mere thought of applying the brakes, and the gearbox was a noisy, slow two handed affair, BUT they looked great and went like the proverbial clappers. Looks and performance which none of its successors was ever able to surpass. Mine is a series 11/2 2+2 (almost a series 1) so I’ll keep my observations to this somewhat limited E-Type spectrum. Just a straight comparison, series 1(ish) ragtop to 2+2. Not knobs and switches stuff, just a functional car for car looksee. No point in having the coupe, if you’re going to come inside you might as well do the job right. The E-Type ragtop has the same benefits and problems as all ragtops, so ragtops in general then.....over the years I’ve thundered up and down England’s highways and byways in everything from a Morgan V twin with its unique oil change system (it gradually threw all its oil at the driver and passenger thus ensuring a constant supply of clean oil, makes you wonder why the thing didn’t last forever) to an MGB, Alvis Speed 20 (with windshield folded flat for effect, real men only need flying helmets and goggles anyway), Messerschmit KR200 (now there’s a thing of power for you) Daimler SP250 Dart, MG TF1500 (nice car but very pedestrian), various motorcycles (BSA/Norton/Triumph, front and back) to my ultimate experience, a racing Bugatti (5 minutes in this car made you realize that Bugatti had summoned up all the dogs of war and locked them away under the beautiful long blue bonnet. Surely nothing else could scream that way). So I think I’ve had a pretty good taste of ragtop motoring and I’ve come away saying that it was all good fun, BUT, when it comes to real, everyday, practical motoring (and this is where I’m coming from), none, and I mean none, of these can hold a candle to the 4.2 E-Type 2+2. This car has it all: power, torque, space, head turning looks, easier maintenance, better aerodynamics, essentially the same running gear (let’s graciously forget the slush box) and one thing the ragtop definitely doesn’t have, THE best bang for the buck of ANY of the E-Types. Mine has been converted to the 3.07:1 axle (thanks Terry) which gives it much longer legs, has triple 45 DCOE Webers, full flow exhaust and high performance electronic ignition. All very legit’ for the period (except perhaps the EI), and probably up to snuff with the 3.8 roadsters?? Now I know, if you’re a dyed in the wool, top down, hair in the wind, real sports cars don’t have roofs anyway kind of person, then it’s a no contest. But if you’ve already run the Ragtop Enduro 50,000, when you’ve had enough wind burn, sunburn, frostbite, rain coming at you like steel rods, dust, eaten enough bug lunches, turned up at "do’s" looking like something the cat dragged in with your face wearing the signature of natures little elemental love pats, and no space for the kids, or anything else that’s really useful for that matter (apart from a spare wheel and necessary tools). When you’ve had your fun in the sun, and want to put $30k back in your pocket for that next restoration project, come inside to Space, Grace, and with a few mod’s, more than enough Pace. A couple of years ago I decided to get my 2+2 and even though I’ve spent much moolah on it, I haven’t been disappointed one bit. It goes like a rocket, people have stopped and commented about the beautiful Jag’ and I’ve even had spectators at Road Atlanta ask if they could have their pictures taken with the car. So maybe I’m not alone, maybe I’m not crazy, maybe the 2+2 really is as special as I think it is. No question, the roadster, gets the romantic points, but the 2+2 gets ALL the rest, hands down. Now if only I could fit a sunroof.............

 

E-Mail Edicate and Emoticons

Many ask how to compose e-mail and what the abbreviations mean. These will help you get by in relations to the Jaguar chat groups and Lists. :p>

Basic Internet Emoticons

:-)	Happy. Joke.	:-O	Yelling
;-)	Wink & Smile. Flirtatious or sarcastic. Tongue & Cheek.	I-O	Yawning or asleep
:-D	Smiling	:-P	Sticking your tongue out at someone
:-(	Sad/Frowning. Dissatisfaction, upset or depressed	:->	Sarcastic.
:-l	Indifferent	>:->	Devilish

Commonly used Abbreviations in e-mail on the Internet:

(Additional ones can be found at http://members.aol.com/nigthomas/alphabet.html)

24/7	24 hours a day/7 days a week	EOD	End of Discussion
ACK	Acknowledged	F2F	Face To Face
ADN	Any Day Now	FAQ	Frequently Asked Questions
AFAIAC	As Far As I Am Concerned	FYI	For Your Information
AFAIK	As Far As I Know	GIGO	Garbage In Garbage Out
AISB	As I Said Before	HTH	Hope This Helps
AISE	As I Said Earlier	IBTD	I Beg To Differ
AISI	As I See It	IME	In My Experience
AKA	Also Known As	IMHO	In My Humble/Honest Opinion
ASAP	As Soon As Possible	ISC	I Stand Corrected
ASAFP	As Soon As F****ing Possible	JAM	Just A Minute
ATB	All The Best	MYOB	Mind Your Own Business
ATTN	Attention	NBD	No Big Deal
AYT	Are You There	NBL	Not Bloody Likely
B4	Before	NMP	Not My Problem
B4N	Bye For Now	PDQ	Pretty Damn Quick
BBL	Be Back Later	PO	Previous Owner
BITD	Beaten It To Death	TA	Thanks A lot
BOC	But of Course	TNX	Thanks
BTA	But Then Again	WR	With Respect
CYL	See You Later	WYSIWYG	What You See Is What You Get
DOA	Dead On Arrival
DPO	Damn Previous Owner

The following tech tips were compiled from the member's of e-type Digest from jag-lovers.org. There are no implied guarantees. These suggestions are from other XKE owners on how they solved similar problems or challenges and may illustrate varied and occasionally contradictory conclusions to the same problem. Please forward any questions, comments, criticisms, or suggestions to mhicks@mathe.com. Commercial use is strictly prohibited. Ó Copyright 1998 by Mark Hicks. Legal Restrictions

Back to Main E-Type Page